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Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Top 10 Bar No-No's, As Seen By A Bartender

After bartending for a while, at a few different types of bars, I've wanted to compile a list of things that really get under my skin.  With this post, I introduce the first guest post on RDB, from Tim Corbett. We worked together to bring you this list that you should keep in mind the next time you head to a bar, pub or club.

It's only meant to help, because as much as most people don't want to believe it... there are two sides of the bar.

10. I occasionally have to do things that don't involve serving. 
Things like getting more juice/mix/other supplies or stocking the fridge, or getting out of the way while a large group of technical experts fix things that you don't understand. When you see I'm obviously busy yelling at me isn't helping your cause, just relax. I promise I will be with you as soon as I can.

9. Early in the night I'm your best friend. 
As it gets later I've got a lot of best friends, if you're looking for attention you're going to get a whole lot less as the night progresses. When the bar is busy, don't expect much conversation, be happy for prompt service.

8. Don't be in the way. 
We know you've been drinking and you're having a good time, but we have a job to do and carrying beer is a pain in the ass. We'll politely ask you to move, so don't argue or joke or anything else, just get out of the way.

7. Don't stand on the equipment. 
Yeah yeah, look at you dancing on the speakers/table/stage ha ha ha, you're so funny. Well you're not funny, you're retarded. Or about to be when you fall off said height in your drunken state and land on your face.

6. Keep it down.
I'm happy you're having a good time, you're happy you're having a good time. Everyone's happy that you're having a good time. Just keep it the fuck down. Every now and then you should take a moment to wonder, "Are we the loudest group in the bar right now?" and if you are, try and adjust your volume.  It makes it harder for me to serve other people when I have to shout over your unnecessarily and obnoxiously loud antics.  Remember that everything is relative.

5. Don't touch me. Ever.
Do not under any circumstance touch the bartender to get their attention. Ever. Quite frankly, if you make me spill this mojito that has taken me the past 5 minutes to make, then you're dead to me. Or you soon will be from dehydration.

4. Garçon, garçon! 
You know what I love, people who snap their fingers at me. They get their drinks first all the time.  Seriously, if there's something you think would be offensive if someone did to you, (read; snap, whistle, clap) don't do it to me.  I do after all control the rate at which you get what you want.

3. Don't 'flash your cash'. 
It does help to get my attention when you have money in your hand at the bar. The major thing is not that you're 'flashing your cash' but that I know you can pay quickly. I will always serve the guy with cash in hand before the girl who always takes 5 minutes looking through her purse to find her money.  In addition, just because you have a wad of greens, reds or even a brown bill or two, does not mean I'm serving you over someone with a single $20.  Unless I know you're going to leave the majority of said bill.

2. Don't yell my name if you know it. 
There are times when I really hate that people know my name. Yelling at the bartender is one of the worst things you can possibly do. Whatever it is, if I didn't notice you right away I promise I will see you shortly, just let me finish whatever I'm doing and chill out.  I am working, you are partying.  Remember that.

1. Tip.
Seriously.  Whether you agree with tipping or not, it's North American culture to do so.  It's the accumulation of years of experience, product knowledge, multi-tasking abilities and interpersonal skills that has brought us into a position behind the bar.  Ever wonder why bar staff tip so well, no matter what bar they're in? Because they know what it takes.  You're not tipping because I just opened a beer for you, you're tipping because I served you, possibly before other people at the bar, and because I have the knowledge and skill-set to get you whatever you want, should you want it. With that being said, if I've ignored you, messed up your drinks, or been unnecessarily rude to you, then yeah, don't tip.  In addition, if I know you, and pour you a shot on me, buy another.  Don't be cheap and just accept free drinks or they won't be free very much longer.

Don't think the bartender noticed you take back your 2 quarters when they were laid in front of you?  Think again.  We not only notice, but remember.  There are other people we can serve that will tip, instead of serving you for free.

Understand that this list is not meant to be the whining of a bartender, but a resource that will only help you in the end.  You're at the bar to have a good time.  I love it when people enjoy themselves, especially if I'm part of the reason.  If you follow these ten, I'll serve you quicker and we'll both be much happier.

The last rule to always adhere to;

1 comment:

  1. lol, nice! But I'd like to add something to #6: Keep it down. As you know I used to bartend and I think keeping it down should primarily refer to keeping your stomach contents down and not puking on yourself/others or the bar!!!!!